I will admit, maybe a bit shamefully that I was at one time on the Twilight bandwagon. I read all four books back to back in a matter of days.  Well, consumed them would be a better description.  I had the first one finished before I saw the first movie and it continued on from there.  I did however draw the line at the films and the books.  I don’t own an Edward life size stand up or anything like that. Seriously, I don’t.

When I started to read the books, I was pretty engrossed, much to the chagrin of my roommates.  But I charged ahead, like an addict looking for that next fix.  About a year after finishing all 4 books, and seeing the first film, I went back to re-read them again before the second film came out.  I know.  You don’t have to say it.  I really don’t know what I was thinking.  As I read through them a second time, I realized that I was reading them in a completely different mindset.  Instead of reading them with stars in my eyes and songs of unrequited love in my heart, my inner sarcastic cynic came out with a vengeance.  Needless to say the romantic was thrown a beating from the cynic. It was a rumble in the jungle and the cynic won.

The second time around was more painful than anything else. Instead of fawning over Edward or Jacob, I really just wanted to reach into the books and slap Bella.  For some reason I guess I didn’t notice on the first time around just how much she talks about how beautiful Edward is.  Ok! I get it! He’s so beautiful it hurts blah blah blah. It’s enough to make a girl pull out her hair or at the very least end up with a mild case of depression.

I went to see New Moon and while I wasn’t as enamored with it as the first one, I still enjoyed it for what it was.  There was a time where after the first one was released that there was no question I would go see every segment in the theater as soon as I could get there.  I just don’t feel the same now.  Perhaps the second read through was the culprit.  Perhaps my vision had cleared and I was no longer dazzled by Edward and his sparkly skin (which, by the way, I ALWAYS found to be utterly ridiculous).

My obsession has since turned to indifference in that I won’t break my neck in order to get to the theater.  If I see it, I see it, if I don’t, I saved $8.  But listen here Stephanie Meyer….I’m on to you.  This new book you released about an inconsequential character from Eclipse is just silly.  If a prequel is in the works at any time, my head is going to explode like that scene from Scanners.

I look back on my relationship with the Twilight Saga and I just have to shake my head.  It’s a lot like 80′s fashion.  Sure, you wore those head bands, the side pony, the legwarmers, jelly shoes and black rubber bracelets, but that doesn’t mean you need to your friends to post those pictures on Facebook as a reminder.

I guess what it really boils down to is this: I don’t think I was ever a great fit for it.  For me it was a phase.  A fleeting urge to ride that pop culture phenomenon .  I don’t begrudge those who love it however.  Go have your Twilight parties and midnight screenings.  I have a 12 year old in my house who would totally do all of those things if she could.  Of course I’ll take her to see Eclipse as well as Breaking Dawn.  But I don’t foresee myself reading the saga for a 3rd time.  Twice was enough and I don’t have enough patience to get through them again.  So go forth you crazy Twi-hards!  I’ll be sitting here patiently waiting for the release of the next film in a franchise that will never get old.  Bring on the next Harry Potter!

Much has been made of the Twilight books ‘undercurrent’ of Mormon values.  Stephenie Meyer has spoken very openly about her faith and values and what part she believes they have played in the Twilight world.  Undeniably the entire series is kept out of naughty waters by whacking great water wings of abstinence; hardly behaviour we have come to expect from the teens of today, yet there is likewise no denying that millions have fallen under the thrall of Edward Cullen.  Now, with director David Slade at the helm, Twilight is slipping deeper into the shadows of night.  This is perhaps fitting because, at its simplistic and silent heart, Twilight is, as all great love stories, the tale of a beauty and a beast…

Every romance writer worth their cover price understands the importance of obstacle in the path towards The End.  His pride or her prejudice, the mad wife in the attic or the dead wife in the sea; literary lovers live to overcome.  With living happily ever after as romances ultimate goal, being undead might well prove be the greatest obstacle of them all!

There is something of a tradition in cinema and literature for the devil as romantic lead.  Complex, autocratic, cruel men snatching the pure heart of an innocent virgin as it flutters in her chaste chest.  Violence has long been synonymous with, and interpreted as, passion and suppression of violence as shorthand for romance.  Darcy, Heathcliff, Mr Rochester and Maxim de Winter; all men made remarkable by their imperious manner, disdain for others and sometime cruelty to the great loves of their lives.  All made the journey from page to screen unadulterated by modern sensibilities and tastes.

The Twilight saga sits well beside them as a new literary love for a far from literate generation.  They are, so far, a safely PG-13 Peter and Jane.  He is pretty, she is pretty.  They are brooding.  Watch them brood.

The Lion and The Lamb motif does feel like a throwback to another time.  Bella is so helpless in the wake of the crashing wave that is Edward Cullen’s attention.  She hardly has time to decide to be in love before their love story has begun.  No matter, Bella is hardly required to actively feel at all.  Hardly heroine-by-numbers, only Kristen Stewart’s trademark scowl separates her from the everygirl/any girl words on the page.  Her character so scarcely drawn she is hardly distinguishable from prey.  Wanted, cast aside, stalked, seduced and taken – a principle dancer in a brutal ballet.

Edward Cullen conforms more comfortably to type.  No skulking Count Orlok he, but a pout-perfect tormented hero.  Closest in affect to Interview with the Vampire’s onscreen Louis, the ghost of his human incarnation is never far from the surface.

Personally, I too prefer a little more mixed-up-man in my heroes.  A Tale of Two Cities Sydney Carton made the ultimate selfless sacrifice for love after living his life as a flawed and selfish fool.  In my opinion he is literature and cinemas greatest romantic lead because his love is never reciprocated though, for a moment, he dares dream it could be.  Needless to say as a Buffy fan I always favoured Spike over Angel – the anti-hero wins my heart every time!  Yet I have no desire to speculate on the Jacob-Bella story, the fluffy teen wolf is merely another distraction hurled in Bedward’s path.  Despite Taylor Lautner’s (baffling) tween appeal there has only ever been room for two in this torrid tale.

For now then I am happy to accept that Twilight has conformed to the romantic rules.  It will be interesting to see how screen writer Melissa Rosenberg and director David Slade effect the transition to darkness that Eclipse may demand.  A veteran of televisual serial murder, Rosenberg has restrained herself thus far.  Talents combined will they dare expose the bitter aftertaste of Twilight’s penultimate bite?

Slade’s 30 Days of Night experience might be better utilised to document the rib-cracking results of true loves consummation in Twilight’s final chapter – Breaking Dawn.  I cannot help but wonder how the rose-tinted specs of fandom will stand up to the myopia of Myer’s retro take on deflowering.

Still, let’s worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  Today the moon is new and true as Edward and Bella’s love and The Lion is preparing to lay down his life rather than live it without his Lamb…

Twilight: New Moon is released on DVD and Blu-ray in the UK today

I was at the Twilight New Moon screening last night and I was sitting in a cinema with hundreds of very excited people, a majority of them girls from young teenagers to middle age women, already very eager for the film to start of this amazingly popular franchise.

But there is a delay as someone from behind the curtain announces that we are waiting for some special guests to arrive before the film starts and that leads for the blood thirsty audience to erupt into an orgy of excited screams and expectation that Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are here, oh boy what have i let myself in for? here's my review with some spoilers.

And so the curtains draw back after a further delay, more over excited screams, and a man with microphone announces that Twilight star Michael Sheen is stuck in traffic and can't make it but new twilight actor Jamie Campbell Bower that plays Caius (Thanks to Sofia pointing this out to me, i had trouble hearing from the back through all the dam screams!) eagerly takes the limelight thanking everyone and introduces the film, more screams. 

The film starts, supplementary screams (a pattern is emerging which continues throughout the film at any appearance of Edward and Jacob, slightly annoying) and what unfolds is the continuing story of forbidden love between Bella and Edward that is put on ice by the arrival of Jacob sporting 30 ponds of extra muscle to confirm his role in the film. 

I need to admit something here, I am a 31 year old man with no previous experience of anything Twilight and was extremely surprised by the excitement that surrounded me and the passion the people had for the story and the characters and I can fully understand how this film is such a phenomenal success. 

The actors own their characters entirely and the story has, from what I've been told, a strong source material to draw from and so what I saw on screen was always going to please the fans in every way. Jacob, now a beefed up sex icon, pleased the ladies every time he appeared and probably stole the film from Edward as the werewolf clan member who became Bella's love Interest after Edward chooses to leave Forks with the Cullen family in a bid to protect Bella from harm.

Edward's plan backfires as the evil and revengeful vampire Victoria is seeking to kill Bella as revenge to Edward for killing her lover in Twilight but the werewolf clan hunt and keep Bella safe from the red headed vampire, this part was only touched upon and Victoria's vendetta will be expanded upon in the third film were she will build an army to fight the Cullen family where Victoria has been recast to be played by Bryce Dallas.

The story of the werewolves is explained and of the treaty they have with the Cullen vampire family that protects the humans in the town of Forks and so Bella is drawn to another supernatural family and eventually falls for Jacob after a long series of bonding sessions, boy does she pick her men with a closet full of secrets.

The film reaches a climax where Edward believes Bella is dead and chooses to sacrifice his life to the Volturi who reside in Volterra Italy, they are vampires who impose the laws of the vampire world that are led by Aro, played by Michael 'i can act as anybody' Sheen, and Bella eventually has to choose between Jacob and her true love Edward, only one winner really and she heads off to Italy to save him in. 

I won't spoil it but i suppose most of the readers of the book know the ending by now, it seemed to satisfy the crowd a lot with probably the biggest screams and cheers of all and so now the build up to Twilight Eclipse Begins.

The film is not to my liking but it's not trying to appeal to someone like me. It's well acted, well cast and the story is perfect for the people it is aimed for and that's enough for it to work and continue to be the huge success that it is and according to a few people i overheard speaking on the way out is no where as good as the first film but i doubt that it will matter, there is nothing like this that appeals to this generation more than The Twilight Saga and it will enjoy another couple of years of further success as it completes it's journey.

The fights are fast and solid although sparse, Kristen Stewart was again a very strong presence on screen but the special FX were a bit ropey, especially the werewolves. But overall for a film about supernatural characters like vampires and werewolves the underlining story is still a love story and probably it's defining legacy and one that seems to hit most with the majority of teenage fans in the cinema that will no doubt return for more in 2010 for Twilight Eclipse. Watch this space for more news.